this is the rational neurotic

I would like to stab myself and fade into the dingy blue carpet when I see my numbers, especially next to my sales managers’. My colleagues have asked if the sector was that bad.

I hate this shite. I love my job, almost 100%, but I hate this shite. It is enough to make me want to quit because no sales = no pay, no pay = no money, no money = no food.

You have no idea how shitty this all is and how crap I feel.

And the ever edging stress contradicted by the increasing draining of motivation… that’s a very peculiar and interesting feeling.

Yea, all my fault. Perhaps I am fooling myself. I’m not meant for a job like this.

Argh.

I would be a workaholic, if I was able to. I was one when I was in the F&B. But I was never stressed at work. Seriously. I love to work and I’m always happy to be tired and busy.

But now, I am fucking stressed, ok? How to explain? I just am.

QC - not that this is exactly how I feel but ya, all this shit and no results.

Dear Uncle Colleague (not to be confused to with this colleague),

domestic abuse: destructive relationships

I am aware that you are a old bird in my company and you have the friendship of our boss. Not that it’s important when it comes to results. And I am also aware that you are an alliance with my other team mate and are very buddy-buddy with him. It doesn’t matter to me. Really. You spend significant time walking past me to talk to him next to me, and I’m indifferent to it totally.

I can tolerate it when you ask me, “why not you come to my team? I need a young pretty girl.” and can bear it when you joke about my dressing and stuff (since it’s not much) but you really crossed the line when you, out of the blue when I was just at my desk minding my own business, suddenly used the paper that you were holding and slightly stroked my face and called me “Ah Hia”. What the fuck was that for?

kanina loh.

via flickr: if he had a middle finger, he’ll show it.

I appreciate your help over the months. In fact, without you, I might not have made any headway at all. I’m sorry that I seem to PMS with you, but I really do not want to tell you that your calling me “Baby” all the time is bordering on sexual harressment.

Funny thing is, I always thought I have had a flat chest. As much as I am delighted that it seems to have erm, liked to boasted itself (even though still small), please remember to speak to my face, and not my boobs, although I’m sure most of the time you’re simply trying to find them since I am flat.

Besides, I’m wearing a shirt with a singlet inside! Wah lau, not some sexy sexy top leh.

So, please, my face is at your eye level, not chest level, ok?

the meaning of lila (amended to fit)

I’m taking a fiver before I clean my house. I just reached home, like, 10 minutes ago, because the sister is flying back tomorrow and she demanded I sing karaoke with her. I am nice and sweet to my family despite of potential trauma (don’t preach. seriously. you’re not me and you don’t have them) so I agreed, despite having to rush on some major work.

So I’m going to clean the house later, beginning with neatening the house, then cleaning the floor and mopping it, and then the room, because I wanna be able to sleep there tomorrow. I can’t vaccum because it’s too late so the sofa-chair has to wait (damn itchy). Then I got to mop the kitchen, wipe the counter tops, change the cat food paper. After that which I have to clean and wash the pantry and the cat litter. Lastly I got to wash the bathroom.

If I’m lucky, I’ll be done by 5am, by then I have to do work because I need it to be completed by 8am.

Go to fly to AMK for a demo at 10am then the big project meeting at 1pm at Ubi. After that, I got to prepare for the big demo on thursday morning before going for a movie/shopping (which reminds me… must find my free engwah voucher). I need to get my bed. Shite.

By the way, if you don’t know anything about what’s happening.. or if you THINK you do, there’s the wall. Bang it. Do the world a favour.

dieselsweeties

I am so farking screwed. I forgot to send this really really important document to my colleague. I’m not going to open my email.

Besides that, the work that should have been done and submitted to another colleague for view before tomorrow’s meeting has not been done one bit. I’m damn screwed.

Pearls Before Swine