this is the rational neurotic

so I thought I was well enough to go out for dinner (because all I’ve been eating is bread for the whole day - I nearly finished the bloody loaf). On the way there I was hit by breathlessness, and a mild, annoying and rather consistent headache.

I stopped the runny nose medication because well, I haven’t had it for a while. Now it’s dripping, I’m hot (really hot, like menopausal flushing), I need to iron my clothes, I just swept the house, I just cleaned the litter, I stink, I hate it when I start asking “how come got cat pee smell?”, etc etc

groan. I need to wash dishes. Iron. Wash. What ever happened to recuperate? Me thinks I have to ask the part time maid here again, but then if I do, there goes any luxury item for me this month.

… is spent sleeping, or rather, trying to sleep.

Grrrr. Hot hot hot hot hot!

I am cranky and very whiney when I am sick.

My chest hurts. I don’t even dare to cough. I am getting worse. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

(at least this illness, or “flu”)

I get breathless eating pieces of apple.

well, at least I don’t have phantom fur up my nose. There’s thunder and lightning now, I hope my cats don’t go too crazy and run over me!

1331: I am still sick. Chest hurts. Last night my left side worked up again, and I was grappled with fear. Luckily I did not get any panic attack. Back from the doctor’s today morning, I deduced that my house is making me sick. The cap I wore to the doctor’s today is covered with fur inside and outside. I can’t breathe when I reach home. Little hairs irritate the inner of my nose. I’m going to clean my house.

1341: Nope, haven’t started yet. But the body aches have. Darn. Shouldn’t have told the clinic assistant I don’t need it. But my company doesn’t reimburse more than 90% of the bill and up to $30. I have a demo tomorrow. Hope I don’t screw it up. I knew I should have sent the quotation on Monday night. I’m going to get it from boss. Maybe I really shouldn’t waste everyone’s time any longer.

1343: Ok where’s the vacuum cleaner? My chest hurts. Think I’ll throw this bedsheet away. Maybe I’ll clear the trash around the house first. Damn, cat peed again.

1350: all my cats are asleep around me. All of them. All of them are in sight of me, actually, within 2 metres of me. It’s quite surreal to see them all lying still and sleeping peacefully like that,in their own space. Guess I won’t be vacuuming. But I need to neaten up first. Maybe I’ll just wipe the dust up.

1357: just switched on the fan. fur.is.all.flying.argh.help!

1400: I went to the kitchen to get a plastic bag to gather the trash. All the cats woke up - I didn’t make any noise. Fed them wheatgrass as per usual and they all gather at the usual place. Guess I can vacuum after all.

1412: started vacuuming. Chest hurts aw aw aw aw aw.

1441: what a load of fur on my curtains! From experience, washing them wo n’t help. Guess I’ll just tie it up and away from the cats. Too much fur flying!

1532: I’m spent. There’s a pile of fabric-y stuff that are too be thrown and some trash too. My dishes are waiting to be cleaned as well. But the vital parts for my health (the reason why I started this) is done. My chair bed is (mostly) clean and the floor around it is (mostly) clean too. I didn’t mop. I have no more energy and my chest is killing me. My cough sounds nasty. I need to go lie down.

this just came on sale recently and it’s already on loan at NLB! Go get it! That’s what I’m going to rest in the chairbed with. Now, if I can get a nice cuppa tea…