decision

He called me yesterday, asking about the flat. “I’ll help you manage the payments, you know. This is what you want, isn’t it?”

I do have my dream within my fingertips, only if that’s the way I want it. I can give my work all up now, and get a better paying one through connections, etc, but I know I want to prove that I am a credible and worthy worker. I can also go over to my ex-boss, where I’ll enjoy the job and get a good pay, but this means giving up time. Of course, giving up time now is better than next year, where I have to complete my last 5 mods.

He has been persistent about it, calling about it every couple of days. That’s his way of helping me, he says. I know he would really help me manage the payments. It’s not a donation, but an interest-free loan. He owes me this much, he says. Truth is, have I asked him to pay me back all the money I’ve coughed out aiding him, I would have afforded it. But it was never meant to be a loan, so why do I want it back? When I passed it to him, I meant it. She told me that day, “it’s really a lot of money. Why not just get a flat and get him to pay until you can afford your own payments?”

I’m really tempted. My own place, a small 3-rm flat, a little corner of my own in the world. But I shan’t. Not now. I’ll do it the way I’ve planned it to be. Struggling, surviving.

If he asks me again, I don’t know if I’ll cave in or not, though.

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2 Responses to decision

  1. icewalker says:

    if you don’t want i want…. LOL

  2. chuwen says:

    go cave in for the sake of yourself. be pragmatic. u’re missing out alot

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