I don’t know why I am so tired. I am staying home on a friday night waiting for a CD to arrive via FedEx, and had to decline drinks with an ex-client because of that. Mike also asked me out to MOS (being polite, I am sure) but while I do feel like drinking, I doubt I have enough patience to handle crowds (unless I go all out and crazy) tonight.
I haven’t eaten. I have 3 mini-sandwiches left over from the seminar but I don’t feel like eating, even though my tummy is protesting. I have to clean the house, I simply do, and I have to start cleaning the litter twice a day again because it’s simply the only way to keep the house clean.
I’m too tired to even wash my face and take out my contacts, but I just did anyway. I can feel the misery coming on, I don’t know why. The house is in a frantic mess (as with every weekend). I just want to hide in one corner, but I’ll probably spend the next 2 hours washing the bloody pantry (or tomorow) but that’s it. I’m too worn out to clean the house.
The thing about me is that although it’s easy, I refuse to spread the misery… not like it’ll lessen mine. I think I really am too tired… I’ve been getting deja vu way too often and it’s wrecking my nerves. I just hope I don’t get the fear back. Panic attacks are not funny.
Maybe I should just go out and drink myself silly. You know what? Maybe I’ll stay home and drink myself silly.
Another weird random shite post by the fucked up yours truly. What else would you expect from me?