无底洞? Is it the same for you?

I know I must have blogged about this a million times.

But after so long, I know not what my heart feels. Doubt and a whole hoard of questions swarm me, and I worry making the wrong decision. Do I, or do I not? Is it just lip service? Do I feel it? Can I feel it? Can I feel anything? The irrationality overwhelms me, I question myself to no avail. Some say, aiyoh, now is just shallow only.. how come think so much? I know. I’m paranoid and distrusting of myself I guess. But I do enjoy the interaction. I just hope it’s not all I enjoy: the smses, the smiles, the little comments across the group that only the both of us pick up.

I was fucked up for a while a few months back. I was fucked up for a long while a few years back. I’m starting to think singlehood is good, besides the occasional emptyness when your friends are all cooing in pairs or cold nights where snuggling makes it perfect. But I refuse to pass ‘judgement’ like that – it must come from the heart, any emotion and decision. However, I hate it when L.O.V.E. turns and screw me from the back.

I know that it might not amount to anything, but just to satiate me… at the risk of losing it all.. is it 无底洞 for you? I actually hope not, but please think it through.

Are you fond of me for me?
Or do you like me just because I’m there.
Am I an oasis or a mirage?

有时寂寞太沉重/身边彷佛只是观众/你的感受没有人懂
难得谁自告奋勇/体贴让人格外感动/爱上他前后用不到一分钟

*嘿回想恋情的内容/有谁想过有始有终/不过是一时脆弱让人放纵

穿梭一段又另一段感情中/爱为何总填不满又掏不空
很快就风起云涌/人类的心是个无底洞
尝试亲吻尝试拥抱或沟通/没有好感再尝试也没有用
大多数人都相同/喜欢的只是爱情的脸孔
没有谁背后怂恿/不该爱又爱的冲动/是你害怕孤单而拼命补充

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